I actually just really wanted a reason to post this song...

so many posts in such a short amount of time... i'm on a role!!! ha ha well i could be far more productive... but i've given myself a free day till 10:30... then it's all business

I made chocolate chip cookies last night because maribel wanted some... they actually turned out amazing since we don't have a mixer... it was all done by hand with the brute strength of my perfectly sculpted arms... ha ha yeah.. tht was a joke to anyone who has seen my arms...

so i really just wanted to post so i could put this song lyric up... i like this song a lot and the video for it is about 20 times cooler... it's all still frame/ still shot... i don't really know what it's called... but i think you get the picture...

update : housemate drama again... they asked me what was my food in the fridge and i think they're planning on throwing out all maribel's stuff... but i really don't want to be a part of this.. can't we just let it go already? i mean she's leaving soon... i hate living with girls

her morning elegance - oren lavie

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in it's case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And She goes...
Nobody knows

And She fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
Where people are pleasently strange
And counting the change
And She goes...
Nobody knows

Where Love Went Wrong

So not the best day ever... but it'll all work out... i know it will... i just need to focus on the here and now... and only focus on myself instead of worrying about others and justice...

My Philosophy of Politics class is amazing and my teacher gave us this quote from Einstein who got it probably from Plato "you can not solve the problems you face with the same thinking that created them". So I might not be putting them into action in the right way but i feel like i'm going to do some major overhaul and work on my procrastination and daydreaming and not focusing on things that need to be dealt with right now. So i'm going to work on that and here's another song. Enjoy

pull the ripchord
the ship has lost its sail
your mama's got a new man
your daddy always fails
and you're eating again
at them
'cause nobody loves you

and even fancy things
have finally lost their charm
wine and diamond rings
they never get you anymore
you're sleeping again
alone
'cause nobody loves you

oooh
they should have seen you
should have known you
should have known what it was like
to be you

so come on kid
look at what you did
I don't know if you meant it
but you did yourself in
and I was even having a good day
when I'd found out we lost you

oooh
she said it was in the singing and the strumming
oh man I even saw it coming

Just Don't Tell Me That

So it's a nice consolation that nobody reads this so i can just vent... say blah.... feel better about the situation and then go on like it didn't happen...

cuz it didn't happen... nothing happened... and me being the hopeless romantic happened... and me wishing i didn't like people i hardly know and hoping and daydreaming about things working out...

i deleted the folder... what was the point? to be able to say "i stalk you" "i need to see you even when i could just look at your facebook pictures"... (yes i understand it's totally creepy. have no fear. i know when i'm going totally mad)

ok so now i can just binge on some chunky monkey and have a busy day tomorrow and push all this to the back of my mind...

Your House - Alanis Morisette 

I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your CD's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jml0nZ21cm0

I hate having longer legs than my jeans cuz then my socks show

Anyone who said college is hard... was lying. its the easiest thing ever. Especially when you don't work, so going to school only 2 days a week gives you insanely long weekends and rainy mornings just checking facebook, watching house, and of course reading for classes. But in all honesty. Reading doesn't require much from you except that you need to be able to understand it and apply it.

But in all my boredom i did find time to go to the movies for the first time in months yesterday. My roommate and i had had enough with being stuck inside while it rained and reading our brains out over the hundreds of pages of poli sci books we have to read. I have never been more interested in public policy though. It's actually more interesting than my political ideology class. I've also learned i could never be an acting major, because reading plays drives me insane. I tend to skip lines and then can't figure out who said what, and then just end up having to reread it and wasting EVEN more time...

By the way... my free time is also making way for me to hopefully win tickets to see Kings of Leon in Auckland New Zealand in March (flight tickets are included) through KROQ

Anyway here is the lyrics that i never posted last time...

Running from Lions - All Time Low

Get me out of this place, before I cause more damage,
a small price to pay for building houses out of matchsticks;
and when things get too hot, you've got me to blame for,
every fire that breaks out in every lover's name, so...

...Don't forget, we've got unfinished business,
stories yet to unfold,
tales that must be retold,
and I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness,
keeps me wanting,
keeps me wanting more...

Sell me out I'm yesterday's old news,
phrases left on paper,
black ink bleeding through
the pages where we made our history.
Call me foolish,
I feel hopeless...

Like a dear caught in the headlights
I won't know what hit me...
Running from lions,
never felt like such a mistake

...Don't forget, we've got unfinished business,
stories yet to unfold,
tales that must be retold,
and I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness,
keeps me wanting,
keeps me wanting more...

The fine line between insane and insecure

I would love to be able to just waste my life pretending and hope that someday it will happen between us... but i can't because i need to focus on there here and now and think about things of the present. Such as school and getting a job to make money to pay for things i need NOW... 

please i need a sign... i'll do anything that tells me that what i'm doing, what i'm working towards, what i'm waiting for... is it right? am i doing the right things?

I'm freaking out. I get claustrophobic being in a class room now. that thought has never crossed my mind before. What's making it change?

Dearly beloved are you listening? 

Another Late Night Update

So disney just sent me an e-mail saying "Couture Family Disney Vacation"... well you know what... those are some pretty fucked up cocky ass bastards right there. I mean what do they know? My whole family could have gone on a cruise and the boat was taken over by pirates of the Thai waters and then sacrificed themselves to save the others. Or what about me not being able to have kids and my husband just walked out on me after telling me he was sleeping with my best friend who i thought had gone into a nunnery? Seriously... how inconsiderate. But in all honesty, i don't care. I don't A. have a family of my own yet. B. my parents and brother have much better ways to spend their money than go to disneyland

So i thought i would update you from the last post that i have also learned that

11. Our postman hates us... atleast 5 times in the 6 months we've lived here he has not even bothered to show up to take our mail. I guess he just assumes if we're not getting any mail, nones going out, so why bother stopping by? i think it's because he's pissed we didn't leave him a little christmas thank-you this year.

12. There are 6 of those loofah scrub things in the girls bathroom. Doesn't add up with there only being 4 girls. Someone either A. thinks they need to wash themselves twice and with separate scrubbers B. they use one to clean their "va jay jay" (in which case i hope mine never touches that one) C. We have some roommates that i've never seen here and definitely aren't paying their own rent.

So yeah... just a little midnight (well almost midnight) snack for all of you little munchkins with insomnia... sucks to be you!!!

The Gromble Romble Fairy (Erin)

Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley

There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week 
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything 
And the talkin' leads to touchin' 
and the touchin' leads to sex 
and then there is no mystery left 

And It's bad news 
Baby I'm bad news 
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news 

I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you 
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief 
When the loneliness leads to bad dreams 
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you 
and I call you and say "C'MERE!" 

And it's bad news 
Baby I'm bad news 
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news 

And it's bad news 
Baby it's bad news 
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news 

'Cause you're just damage control 
for a walking corpse like me - like you 

'Cause we'll all be 
Portions for foxes 
Yeah we'll all be 
Portions for foxes 

There's a pretty young thing in front of you 
and she's real pretty and she's real into you 
and then she's sleepin' inside of you 
and the talkin' leads to touchin' 
then touchin' leads to sex 
and then there is no mystery left 

And it's bad news 
I don't blame you 
I do the same thing 
I get lonely too 

And you're bad news 
My friends tell me to leave you 
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news 

That you're bad news 
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news 
Baby you're bad news 
and you're bad news 
I don't care I like you 
and you're bad news 
I don't care I like you 
I like you

And there's so much you could learn but you don't want to know

So it hasn't been very long since my last log... but when you've been sick for going on 5 days, it all seems like a long time.

In those 5 days I have,

1. come down with some sort of virus at the same time as my housemate anthony

2.  learned that Jake, John, and Kaitlin ( look use of the oxford comma!!!) may be coming out for the summer

3.  decided to go vegan until the end of the school year with the exception that once a week i get to have sushi. and i ate sushi last night... and it was fabulous!!! spicy shrimp was WAY spicier than i've ever had... but still delicious ( I LOVE SUSHI)

4. learned/noticed that surprisingly, i know more guys with man boobs bigger than my breasts than i know girls with breasts bigger than me. 

5. started whitening my teeth again. i stopped after like day 5 last time, because the strips were doing some crazy shit to my gums that made them hurt REAL bad, so we're trying them again now, because i have noticed that i really really really need to whiten my teeth

6. also considered buying a car. I looked into a vespa but they're way more expensive than i thought (for the ones that can go on the freeway atleast) plus, if friends visit over the summer, i need a way to drive them around. 

7. found chloriseptic spray and Halls defense citrus cough lozanges are like the loves of my life. atleast right now

8. become addicted to youtube. Hey when you're sick for the whole duration of no class period and yet you have a ton of reading to do, what would you do? that's correct. you would ditch the reading, go on youtube and waste countless hours subscribbing to interesting people with vlogs... btw Julia Nunes and i believe his name is CARLIEISSOOOOOOCOOL are my 2 favorites to follow

9. had my pet peeve of people adding water to the hand soap reaffirmed. Trust me, i catch you doing it, i'll have your head. There is plenty of soap under the sink!!!!! Its not a big fucking problem until you start adding water!!!

10. started becoming a little bit more of a healthy person by taking cal/mag tabs, synthroid, iron and all other good for you pills like vitamin C, which its a little too late for, but hey, prevention can never start too early for next time eh?

ha ha right... ok.. so i now must go take off these whitening strips and get ready for dance class in about 2 hours. i love you all. I've been home alone for like 4 hours. Le Sigh... ha ha 

Almost forgot...song lyrics!!!

The Trapeze Swinger - Iron and Wine

Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
And now you're lit up by the city
So

Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower call
Then pass us by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Leave and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And

Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapeze
Swing as high as any savior
But

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
Had an element of danger
So

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers