The fine line between insane and insecure

I would love to be able to just waste my life pretending and hope that someday it will happen between us... but i can't because i need to focus on there here and now and think about things of the present. Such as school and getting a job to make money to pay for things i need NOW... 

please i need a sign... i'll do anything that tells me that what i'm doing, what i'm working towards, what i'm waiting for... is it right? am i doing the right things?

I'm freaking out. I get claustrophobic being in a class room now. that thought has never crossed my mind before. What's making it change?

Dearly beloved are you listening?